Sex toys, and in particular the vibrator, have long been associated with women. Although men have long used sex toys (and probably inspired the creation of most), social acceptance of sex toys for men has long lagged behind that of women.
But the past decade has seen an explosion in the variety and prevalence of internet pornography, and with it, a serious change in the way sex toys and their use are perceived by both men and women.
For many men, connotations of homosexuality or inadequacy were the driving forces behind the tendency to shy away from sex toys, especially phallic novelties. Though anal stimulation can be enjoyed by any man regardless of his sexual orientation, the stigma of anal penetration for males is age old and prevalent.
Use of a phallic toy in the context of pleasing a female partner has been avoided by many men who hold irrational fears that they may be “shown up” or even replaced by it. Other types of toys such as male masturbators, pumps and cock rings were only known in the 70′s and 80′s by the fringe of society and rarely seen in pornography save for the inside back covers of low end magazines. In short, if you never went to a sex shop, your exposure to these items would be minimal, placing them firmly in the category of “taboo”.
Likewise, internet porn in the mid 1990′s was much more segregated than it is today. Popular sites dedicated themselves with almost niche-like adherence to a particular style of porn, and most of it was devoid of sex toys. That’s not to say it wasn’t kinky, just that it didn’t showcase to even the smallest degree of sexual diversity.
Today, much has changed. Though niche sites are still popular, most all-encompassing porn sites offer a variety of sexual diversity including female domination, male and female masturbation, water sports and much more. The average porn viewer, which no one will argue demographically skews male, is exposed to a variety of sexual positions, methods and mores that simply weren’t part of the landscape a decade ago – and the benefit to both men and women is obvious.
Sex, especially in a monogamous relationship, can get a little stale no matter how enthusiastic the partners are. After a time, the sexual aspect of a long term relationship becomes just like every other aspect of the relationship in that it takes work to make it work. With more men seeing the potential for introducing sexual diversity and new avenues for pleasure into their lovemaking through sex toys, the effort is much more easily worth the reward.
As always, be clean, safe, adult and mutually consenting.
